We are destined
to become suns, to offer our own unique "something" to the whole of
Creation
The
Kabbalah of Adolescence
by Shifra
Hendrie
Adolescence -
The Darkness Before the Dawn
Do you
remember what it was like to be an adolescent? The anger, the
confusion, the rebellion? The intense need to express yourself, even
in ways that were upsetting to the people around you?
Or maybe you
are the parent of an adolescent. Maybe you long for the days when he
or she was a sweet, compliant child, wanting nothing more than to be
just like you.
Thankfully,
adolescence doesn't last forever. And, in most cases, if you have
truly good, solid values that you've transmitted with love, your
adolescent will pass through this phase of turmoil and breakdown and
come out the other side as a person who makes you really proud.
In fact,
interestingly, it often turns out that the more trouble he gives
you, the more likely he is to impress - or even amaze you - later
on.
That's
because, as the child temporarily removes himself from your
guidance, your dominance - your 'light", so to speak - he begins to
question, to look inside for answers, to explore his own feelings
and to express himself from the inside out.
In an often
chaotic, foolish, even destructive way, he begins to manifest his
innate power to think his own thoughts, come to his own conclusions,
choose his own goals and make his own decisions.
And in doing
so, he slowly begins to experience the sense of self without which
he would always remain a child - someone less than, and dependent
upon you.
Turning a Moon
into a Sun
As difficult
as it often is, this is a necessary stage in the evolution of an
authentic human being. A young child, as sweet, precious and
adorable as he may be, is largely just a reflection of his parents.
Whatever you think, he thinks. Whatever you believe, he believes.
Like the moon, he may be lovely, but he is a reflector. You assert,
and he believes. You decide, and he accepts. You give, and he takes.
As human
beings, created in the image of the Creator, our destiny is not,
ultimately, to be moons. We were created not simply to reflect, but
to shine. We are destined to become suns, to offer our own unique
"something" to the whole of Creation.
But the
transition between reflecting and shining, moon and sun, is not
smooth and linear. There is no logical progression from one state of
being to the other.
For that
reason, this transition requires what is often known as a
transformation - a leap from one state of being to another,
completely different one. And when it comes to a transformation, the
rule is this: in order to go up, you must first go down. If you want
to become something new, you must first let go of what you were
before.
Darkness for
the Sake of Light
Sometimes this
process is easy. Sometimes the darkness of the transition between
the old and the new is almost imperceptible. And sometimes the
darkness is so intense that it feels like there's no light at all.
When this is the case, it means that you must go deeper, farther
within yourself, to find a level of light and power that you weren't
in touch with before.
But whatever
the case, the important thing is this: the darkness doesn't occur
for its own sake. It has no intrinsic, permanent reality. It's there
only on behalf of the transformation - the different, far greater
light - that will come as a result.
Searching
Beneath the Lamp
Three years
ago I lost a younger brother to a sudden and terrible illness. My
spiritual studies, which had been extremely important and
pleasurable to me, became painful and difficult. All I could ask
myself was: "Where is G-d, and how can He do this?"
My teacher
told me a story that I will never forget. You may have even heard it
before, although probably not in this context. Here's the story:
Two men left a
party and came upon a third man on his hands and knees under a
streetlight, searching for something.
"What are you
looking for?" they asked him.
"My watch," he
replied.
Ready to help
him in his search, they asked: "Where exactly did you drop the
watch?"
"Over there",
he answered, pointing off into the distance.
"So why are
you looking here?" one of the men asked in confusion.
"Because it's
dark over there," the searcher replied.
The Experience
of Darkness
Most of us
look for our answers in the light - in what we already know, what we
can understand, where we're comfortable - i.e. in the tried and
familiar. But the real answers, the ones that really matter, usually
aren't there. Those answers, the ones that allow us to see or be
something that we couldn't see or be before, are "over there" - in
the place where it's dark.
Transformational challenges don't necessarily have to be
particularly intense. They can be minor and trivial as a frustrating
conversation, hurt feelings, a disappointment at work, or an
unexpected bill. These things can certainly be used as impetus for
us to grow and expand, to learn new things and try new ways of
being.
Or the
darkness can be, G-d forbid, enormous and incomprehensible.
But whatever
the case may be, if you search for answers only where it's light -
in the places you know, in the habits that make you comfortable, in
the paradigms you already have - it's almost certain that you will
never move very far from where you are right now.
But if you
become willing, instead, to be with the discomfort of the unknown,
to reach, even for occasional moments, into the vast mystery, you
may discover there an entirely new potential, a new understanding, a
new level of light. And this light, the light that comes from the
darkness, does not shine from the outside in. It shines within the
depths of your heart, your mind and your soul - from the inside out.
The Threefold
Process: A Template for Creation
This threefold
process of transformation - from light, to darkness, to a much
greater and more internal light - is one of the spiritual poles
around which the world spins.
In fact, when
our great-great-grandparents, Adam and Eve, ate from the Tree of
Knowledge and were exiled from Paradise, they were following this
template.
In the Garden
of Eden before the sin, everything was beautiful. Everything was
holy. There was no chaos, no rebellion, no darkness at all. Adam and
Eve, together with everything in the Garden, simply reflected the
intense Divine light of Creation.
But G-d put a
snake in the Garden - a snake that would seduce our forebears into
rebellion and introduce darkness, evil and exile into Paradise.
The Snake in
the Garden
The snake did
not get there by accident. G-d intentionally included the potential
for darkness in His plan for Creation. And, He included it such a
way that it would be internalized - made a very part of who we are.
That's
because, in order for you to have the potential to transform
something, it has to be yours.
When G-d put
the snake into Paradise, He ran a great risk. His choice to do so
guaranteed that we would fall, that we would rebel, that we would
sin. He gave us an enormous challenge.
But at the
same time, He gave us an unparalleled opportunity - one not shared
by even the loftiest of angels. He gave us the power to transform
all of the darkness of our world into light. He gave us the power to
transform ourselves from passive recipients of His light to true
partners in Creation.
What Goes Down
Must Come Up: The Paradigm of Transformation
Kabbalah calls
this process "yerida l'tzorech aliyah" - a descent for the sole
purpose of the ascent that will follow. It is the Divine template
through which all true transformation occurs.
Simple growth
does not require this threefold process. It's linear, natural,
logical and progressive. But transformation, an essential change
from one state of being to another, to one degree or another always
takes this path.
Here's how it
works:
In the first
stage of the process, there's harmony, a sense of oneness, light.
Everything's working just fine. But this harmony is superficial and
therefore intrinsically unstable. Like the Garden of Eden before the
fall, as long as circumstances are right everything looks good. But
the potential for divisiveness and destruction is always there; it
just hasn't been actualized yet. As long as the light shines,
darkness will be suppressed. But it still exists in potential.
In the second
stage the unity falls apart and the potential for darkness is
actualized. There is breakdown and chaos. Like the Garden of Eden
after the fall, like our rebellious adolescent who suddenly rejects
the values of his parents and wants to "find himself", what was once
harmonious turns to chaos. But this chaos has an intrinsic purpose.
It's there for the sake of the higher level of oneness that will
come in its wake.
The final
stage is transformation. Like the phoenix from the flames, out of
the chaos comes a brand new unity and a brilliant new light. And
this time it's permanent.
That's because
now the light is no longer imposed from the outside. It has become
an authentic expression of what lies within. Once this happens,
there's simply no darkness left anymore - not because it's
suppressed, but because it has been turned to light.
Becoming
Partners in Creation
This
transformation process takes place at all different levels in all
aspects of life. It's also the paradigm for Creation as a whole.
At the end of
the process we will no longer obey G-d only because He knows more
than we do, because He's infinitely bigger, stronger, and holier
than us.
Instead, we
will do G-d's will because it has become ours. Instead of being
simply G-d's servants, or even His children, we will be His partners
as well, sharing His perspective, shining side by side.
Going back to
our adolescent rebel, once he completes this process, his values,
beliefs and commitments are no longer merely a reflection of his
parents'. They are now his own. At this stage obedience is simply
not an issue. Rather than obeying his parents, he relates to them,
shares their perspective and their goals, and even better, expresses
them in his own personal and unique way.
Global
Adolescence
Our world is
approaching the end of its long period of adolescence. That's why so
many of us are seekers. That's why so many of us dream of a
peaceful, harmonious, good and G-dly world, a world of abundance,
purpose and meaning. Without necessarily even realizing it, we have
begun to share the vision of our Creator.
Our struggle
is not yet completely over. Obviously, we need to grow. We are still
very much in the process of becoming all that we are destined to be.
But we are getting closer and closer to the end of that process. And
once we find - fully find - our own inner light, it will be ours
forever. There will be no more struggle, because who we should be
and who we genuinely, passionately want to be will have become one
and the same.
That's what
G-d wants from us - and even more important, for us. Our ultimate
destiny is not to simply submit, to bow our heads and do the right
thing. We certainly will do the right thing, but in a way that is
infinitely more powerful and meaningful.
We are
destined - were always destined - to fully embrace our own essence,
to experience G-dliness not only from without, but from within.
In fact, it's
the purpose of Creation.
The Era of
Transformation
At this time
in history, we are witnessing the breakdown of many of the things we
once took for granted. Whether this breakdown expresses itself in
our leadership, our values, our children, our communities, our
environment, our sense of security, or our dreams, it can be
tremendously painful, frightening and confusing.
But this
darkness, as always, is here for one reason: to push you to
transform, to fulfill your true potential, to become the person you
were truly born to be. These times are intensely challenging. But
there has never, in all of history, been an opportunity like the one
before us today.
And this
opportunity, this potential for transformation, expresses itself not
only in a global sense, but in the very real and tangible details of
your personal life.
Next time you
feel stuck, frustrated or disappointed, confronted by an obstacle or
challenge - whether in a relationship, work or any other area of
life, be aware that you are being presented with a Divine
opportunity to access your latent power to make the darkness shine.
You may feel
frightened of the darkness - the vulnerability, uncertainty or
discomfort that almost always accompanies real change. But this
time, don't stop there. Instead, ask yourself what you would do if
you were your fears were not an obstacle.
Maybe you'd
communicate more authentically with someone you love. Maybe you'd
try to understand the other person's point of view. Maybe you'd make
that phone call you've been putting off. Maybe you'd join that
class, apply for that job, start that exercise program, deepen your
relationship with G-d, give someone a hug or a smile, or be the
first one to apologize even if you weren't the only one who was
wrong.
The bottom
line is this: At every moment you have a choice. Like the man with
the missing watch, you can confine your search to the space under
the light, remaining limited by your past, by what's safe and
familiar. Or, you can venture instead into the unknown and
unfamiliar to seek out and reveal the greater light and potential
concealed in the heart of the darkness.
The choice is
yours.
(*Since the
Torah forbids the erasing of G-d's name, it's customary to avoid
writing it out in full)
About the
author: Shifra Hendrie
shifra@KabbalahOfTransformation.com
Shifra
Hendrie is a professional life coach who specializes in helping
talented, ambitious, spiritually-minded professionals create
breakthrough results in their businesses and relationships.
You can
download Shifra's fascinating new ecourse, "Seven Kabbalah Secrets
that Can Change Your Life", free at
http://www.KabbalahOfTransformation.com
|
